In this messed up world we all live in
by OopsWrongOne
Summary: A ghoul has to devour others to live. But what if there would be a ghoul that tries to live his life without hurting anyone? There is no way that would end well... So far the story only has OCs, might include other characters later if the plot demands it. Rated M because who knows where this will end up going
1. Chapter 1

_**So, here I am, posting my first Tokyo Ghoul fanfic here and of course it has an OC as the main character. I do not like making this easy for me. Also I have to say that I suck at naming my characters, I mean, no names actually feel fitting to the characters in the end. But without furthr delaying, here it is, my try at writing something in an hour or two...**_

A ghoul, what exactly is a ghoul? I guess the definition would be a being that has the appearance of an original human but has no other way to ease their hunger than eating people. Yes, that covers everything a ghoul is, nothing more, nothing less. No matter what a ghoul does, they will have to hide themselves from the public so people don't hunt them down. A sad excistence if you stop to think about it. Still, ghouls exist and they walk side by side human beings. That's why I think that a future where human and ghoul would coexist is not impossible.

I guess this is the time I introduce myself. My name is Kazuki Ikehara and I was on my last year of high school. I had a family of my older brother and my parents. Oh, and one thing, we were all ghouls. My other family members had accepted the fact that ghouls have to think of humans as livestock to survive. I, on the other hand, could not stand killing others and eating something that was once a living human made me feel sick. I wanted to live like a human, that is why I kept going to school even though my brother dropped out as soon as he could. I just wanted to live without the blood of others on my hands. Was that really too much to ask?

I woke up that Monday morning at the same time I always did. The house we lived in was nothing special, just an old, a bit broken down, house. It was few miles to the city which was completely fine by us. A delicious scent reached my room, making my mouth water. It was something I had not had for ages. A raw piece of meat, just for me. Just for me to eat, to devour the flesh. No, I could not eat it, I would not become a monster who enjoys eating dead people. I walked down the stairs, every step took me closer to the source of the scent. My hunger grew with each passing second, I could feel it drilling a hole into my stomach.

"Hey, just in time Kazuki, we just found this dead corpse out there from a dark alley. Want a bite?" My brother asked, having already started eating his part of the flesh. His lips were bloody as he greeted me with a smile.

"No thanks, I am not hungry..." I lied, going into the small kitchen to get me a cup of coffee. Coffee was the only thing that let me keep my hunger in check, at least for the time it took me to drink it and leave for school.

"Kazuki, you know you have to eat eventually. I know how you feel about eating humans but it's not like you have any other chance, now do you? You have to eat to survive, for a ghoul to survive is to devour." my brother said, having gotten tired of trying to make me eat. My family had tried talking to me about how humans are here only to be devoured by us. It was a lie and they had nothing against humans, they were not that into killing either. They said that just to make me eat, they indeed were the best kind of family a ghoul could have.

"I said I am not hungry!" I said, going into the bathroom. I looked at the mirror, noticing my eyes that had turned into their red and black form. Those cursed eyes that were a sign of a ghoul. They were a pain to hide in public once they appeared. I looked at my face on the mirror until my eyes slowly returned to their normal brown color. I step out of the bathroom, walking out of the front door holding my breath so the delicious, no, disgusting, smell wouldn't reach my nose.

When I arrived to my classroom, I took my usual seat next to the door. I noticed some of the class, I believe the correct word is bullies even though I prered the wors assholes, walking into the classroom. They laughed loudly at something, probably at someone else's suffering. They looked at me and sneered at me.

"Hey Kazu dude

, we are all out of money, could you lend us some?" the biggest asshole of them all, Takeshi said with a smile that had no good intentions behind it. The other three of the group were the school whore Yuzuki, the dumb one with an IQ of a shoe Kaito, and of course the guy who does nothing but muscle training Akira. I usually did not think bad about other people but over the years these four had gotten the whole class into trouble more than once. Truth to be told, after evading other people since my earliest childhood, I was quite shy.

"Don't have any." I said and looked Takeshi's face with an unsure expression. I was not sure how to act when someone I didn't particularly like approached me. I prefered observing the high school life far away from other people not to get attention drawn toward myself. And if I got into a conflict with someone, I would just try to solve it with words. I did not like violence at all.

"Sure you have, you just don't want to give it to us!" he said, his words cold almost to the point of threatening me. I looked at him, thinking of something to say. It was true, I had no money with me, after all, ghouls got their food by killing others so buying it was unneeded.

"Nevermind, whatever you little shit" Takeshi finally said abd dropped the matter.

"What a little prick, no wonder he's always alone" Yuzuki said, earning a laughter from the rest of the group. I felt slightly insulted by the comment. The teacher closed the classroom's door, signing that the class had officially started. He walked to the front of the class and said in a matter of factly voice: "It has come to our attention that there have been multiple reported missing or dead persons around the school area. We think we may have a ghoul somewhere along us. So as your teacher I have to tell you to be careful not to get into any situations where you would be alone with anyone, even your best friend."

The whole class was shocked. Of course they didn't think that a ghoul might be in the school area. Humans generally think of ghouls as lesser beings with no right to live so why should they ever fear that something like that might appear in their lives. That's how I thought most of my classmates thought at the time. I was shocked to hear that they are already looking for a ghoul. If they went deep enough, they would find out about me and my family and... No, they wouldn't be able to do that, I didn't stand out at all. But if they were able to do it, what the hell would happen then?

**It's simple, I should kill them**

A thought ran through my head, making me forget anything else. What the hell was that, I didn't think like that, I could never kill anything! I was human for fuck's sake! At least, that's what I wanted to believe.

_**I have to say, I am not entirely happy with this start... Writing from the first person's view was a challenge of sorts and some other things just bother me with this. I hope I can fix those things for the next chapter.**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Oh wow, I got this thing written in under 5 months, has to be a new record or something. Anyway, let us continue observing our unfortunate main character's life, shall we?**_

The lunchtime came faster than I would have hoped it to. I had with me my usual lunch that was just a plain sandwich that had only cheese and lettuce in it. I made it as simple as possible to eat without having to throw it up as soon as I put it in my mouth. With the ghoul rumors going around the school there was no way I could just not eat. Eating was one thing that humans could do but ghouls could not so it was a perfect chance to make it seem like I was just like any other normal human in the school. I took a bite, the awful taste instantly spreading into my mouth. I tried my hardest not to grimace as I chewed the thing that quite honestly tasted like someone had taken a shit and put some acid on it. The bread's taste was the one of molten plastic and it made me want to just spit everything out. I forced myself to swallow the awful thing that humans called food and drank some water to get rid of the taste. Darn, how the hell could people eat that shit and enjoy it so much. No, I was a human as well, I would not act like a ghoul. Surely if I kept eating human food, eventually I would get used to it. It would have to happen eventually. That's what I told myself as I kept eating.

I waited for a good fifteen minutes after the lunch to rush into the bathroom and get rid of the sandwich that had started to cause me some serious stomach issues. After emptying everything I had in my stomach I looked myself in the mirror again. I looked horrible, my face was paler than ever and my eyes had dark shadows under them. It was to be expected though, it had been two weeks since the last time I had eaten anything that resembled a human. And even then I ate just enough to keep myself alive. Soon enough I would be too hungry to keep my insticts in control and I would end up attacking someone.

**And devouring all that soft flesh. That sounded so good...**

No, I had to stop thinking like that! I would not eat human flesh!

**Why not, I needed that. I wanted that.**

No no no no no no... I really needed to stop that right now. Was I really that hungry? Sure, I felt the pain of hunger inside my gut but I did not notice that I was that close to losing it. So far I had trusted that my ideology of not killing anything would keep myself in control but suddenly I was not too sure that it would be enough.

I got to class few minutes late and took my seat while apologizing to the teacher. The class had just finished taking all the names of the students that were absent. I heard names that belonged to people from Takeshi's gang. Funny, they were in school earlier that morning, after all. It was just bad luck that I had to study human biology that day. Looking at the charts of different human body parts was not that horrible, after all they were just drawn images. But I did not need any reminder of my hunger. Ribs, **_bones_**** that had to be broken to reach the lungs and heart**, the fat of the human body, **nice and soft as long as the whole body is not completely covered by it** and finally, the inside organs, **the best part that were just squishy enough to make a sound while you rip them out...**

"I-I am sorry but I am not feeling too good, can I please go rest outside for a moment?" I asked, standing up. I was sweating and my eyes were throbbing lightly. I did not think that my eyes had turned into red and black, at least the teacher's expression was calm as he agreeded that I could leave the class early. After the classroom door had closed, I started running as fast as I could. I did not know where I could go but I knew that if I were to meet anyone on my way there, it would be unlikely that it would end well. I ran outside the school building and was heading towards the school gates when I heard someone screaming. I turned around to search for the voice but saw nothing. I did, however, know that between two of the buildings was a small alley that was almost never used. Some students used that area only to smoke and bullies brought the people they blackmailed there to 'get back the money that belonged to them'. I knew that whatever it was, it had nothnig to do with me so I should stay out of it and just keep going. I have no idea what was my reason but I started walking closer to the source of the sound. I stopped at the corner of the buildings. I peeked into the alley and what I saw stopped me right there. It was just four people there, one of them holding one of the other three against the wall with their tail. Wait, no, not a tail, it was a kagune. One of those people was a ghoul. I had no reason to care what other ghouls did, right? But unfortunately I could not ignore the fact that if one ghoul would be found, the attention of the media and CCG would automatically be focused on the school and anyone who have any connections to it.

In the end, I had no idea why, but I started walking closer to the ghoul. Slowly, sneaking, so he would not notice me all that suddenly. Should I start fighting or just ask them to stop and try to reason? Those questions went through my head as I got close enough to see the person's face who was pinned againts the wall.

"What the hell? Yuzuki? And... Kaito. And even Akira... What the hell is going on?" I looked at them, the three unlucky people who were attacked by a ghoul in the school area. And all that happened during classes, no less. All four people, three humans and a ghoul, turned to face me, all with surprised or panicked faces. The ghoul's face was covered by a mask though, just a plain mask that made the ghoul resemble a fish, I suppose. Hmm, a fish with a tail like kagune, that was interesting.

"Darn it, another one showed up... And what do you know, if it isn't the fucking bastard who is always acting all high and mighty. I really did not want to kill any of you but you heard the rumors, they are already onto me so I have to dispose of all the people who I was closest to, nothing personal. And you, Kazuki, you just happened to walk in here at the exact fucking worst time ever!" the ghoul half yelled, clearly annoyed by my sudden entrance to the scene.

"Takeshi? Is that you? Were you a ghoul all this time?!" I asked, shocked that another ghoul had been so close but I had not noticed, probably because of my constant hunger.

"You're darn right I am you fucking idiot! You always pissed me off, always looking away from me, never showing me any interest! Do you think you are that much higher than me, huh?!" Takeshi let Yuzuki down, her body collapsing to the ground. Now the three looked up at Takeshi and I. None of them seemed to be able to get up and run. I had to play some time so maybe the situation could be dealt with peacefully.

"Higher than you? I would never think of that! Just calm the fuck down and stop this madness!" I yelled, begging him to stop before something even worse would happen. His kagune pushed me against the wall from my stomach. **Ugh, I was sooooooo hungry...**

"Sorry, no can do! You all know about me being a ghoul so you guys have to die here and now." he said with a cold tone and punched me to the face. Hard enough to break my nose, I might add. I could feel the blood rushing into my mouth. His kagune pressed me even harder to the point where I was sure that my inside organs would be crushed. A normal human would have had their lower ribs broken by then.

"Please... Stop..." I said, not sure which hurt more, the broken bones or the fact that my body needed food, anything it could eat and not throw up. **Flesh, fresh flesh...** Yes, of course, why didn't I think of that before...?

**I should just devour all of them, right?**

Yes, devouring them sounds so good, all of that flesh...

**A ghoul needs to eat, so eating them is okay, right?!**

**I NEED FLESH RIGHT NOW!**

As those violent thoughts rushed through my brain, my eyes had darkened slightly. I could feel my mouth turning into a small grin. I wondered what a ghoul would taste like.

"S... ngry..." I mumbled slowly, looking down, my eyes not focusing on anything.

"What did you say?" Takeshi asked, bringing his masked face closer face closer to mine. I could smell the flesh of a ghoul. It was not a pleasant one but it still made my mouth water.

**"I'm so fucking hungry!"** I yelled, looking up at him with both of my eyes showing my kagugan fully active. All my previous thoughts about saving lives were thrown out of the window under a minute when shit actually hit the fan.

**"So, can I eat you now?"**

**_Oooohhh, I cliffhanger! Am I evil or what?! Well, it can be guessed what will happen next but I just wanted to leave this here, it was getting quite a long chapter anyway._**


End file.
